The Groom Speech is one of the wedding speeches given during the reception.
Writing your speech
The groom’s wedding speech is in many ways the easiest of the typical three main speeches at a Wedding. Many grooms get away with a list of thank yous and a few comments about how beautiful their wife looks and how happy they are. That’s not too bad, but aim higher if you can. Consider building your speech around the following structure:
- Thank the father of the bride for his speech.
- Tell the story of how you first met your wife. What attracted you to her? How did the first date go? It’s normally pretty easy to get a laugh in here somewhere. If that’s not going to work, then how about the story of how you proposed?
- Thank your in-
laws for welcoming you into their family. Think of a couple of positive things to say about them. It only needs to be a sentence or two. Remember too that you are speaking on behalf of your wife. Thank them for bringing her up to be the fantastic woman you are marrying today.
- If your wife has brothers or sisters, mention them too, and thank them.
- Thank your own parents for bringing you up. If they were good parents, then think about why they were good parents, and try to explain it in a couple of sentences. You are not aiming to nauseate the audience with sentimental rubbish, but you are aiming to make your mother cry (in a nice way). Give it some thought.
- Add in any other special thank-
yous needed (for example, the ushers). It’s impossible to thank each and every person who helps with a wedding in the groom’s speech, so don’t try. Your audience will get bored so make this short and sweet. But do pick out the important ones.
- Talk about your wife. You really need to think about this. Why are you marrying her? What do you love about her? Try to sum it up in three or four sentences. Avoid sentimental drivel that sounds like the inside of a Valentine’s Day card –
anyone can write that. But talk from the heart. The aim here is to make your wife cry (in a nice way).
- Thank the bridesmaids, comment on how great they’re looking, and then propose a grooms toast to them. Toasting the bridesmaids is an expected part of the groom’s speech, so don’t forget.
- Thank your best man, say what a great guy he is, and hand over to the best man. This is another place where you can get an easy laugh. For example: “X is a great guy, but the only slight drawback is that he does live in a bit of a parallel universe which causes him to invent fanciful stories. He really does believe these stories to be true and I thank you for humouring him during his speech”. Then sit down to rapturous applause and keep your fingers crossed that your best man goes easy on you!
If you stick to this format then by the end of your speech you’ll have made them laugh, you’ll have made them cry, and you’ll be finished inside about eight minutes, which is about right for a groom’s speech.
Delivering your speech
Here’s some top tips for delivering your speech:
- Avoid using a microphone if you possibly can. Speaking into a mike can be distracting if you are not used to it, and it’s more difficult than it looks. Many couples rely on their DJ to supply a mike for the speeches which makes matters even worse –
DJ mikes are specially designed not to cause feedback and have to be held very close to the mouth. The best bet is to forget mikes and concentrate on your delivery. Speak loudly and clearly and address the back of the room. If need be, visit the venue in advance and check out the acoustics for yourself. Get your fiancee to stand on one side of the room while you stand on the other side. Have a conversation. Take note of how loudly you need to speak in order to be heard.
- Make sure you have a table in front of you when you deliver your speech. In most cases this is easy to arrange because you will be giving speeches either immediately before or immediately after the meal. However, don’t be tempted to deliver your speech from a location where you are “naked” before the audience. Even experienced politicians dislike doing this, which is why they use lecterns. Stand behind something –
you will feel a lot calmer.
- Put your notes on small cards, not a big sheet of paper. Even if you don’t get nervous when delivering your speech, the adrenaline will probably be flowing and this can make your hands shake. If you are holding a big sheet of paper, this shaking will be very noticeable and distracting for your audience. Write your notes on index cards, and punch a hole in the top left corner. Then tie them all together with a treasury tag. This means there is no chance of them being out of order when you come to deliver your speech. It also means that if you drop the cards (and grooms have done this before) they won’t spill across the floor.
- Before you stand up to deliver your speech, make sure you have a glass of water to hand in case you need to clear your throat. You also need to have a glass of champagne to hand, because most groom’s speeches involve a toast to the bridesmaids. A lot of wedding speakers get to the toast and then find they’ve got nothing to toast with. Check before you start.
- To propose a toast, just say “Ladies and Gentleman, will you please be upstanding and raise your glasses…” then pause, wait for everyone to stand up, raise your glass and say “…to the bridesmaids”. Make the last bit as loud as you can because there will still be the odd scraping chair from people who are slow to rise. The audience repeats “the bridesmaids”, takes a sip, and then sits down. You can then carry on.
Things to Avoid
There is no special formula for creating the perfect speech, but there is a list of things you should definitely avoid:
- Not preparing a speech because you want to do it impromptu. Don’t – just don’t. Leaving one of the most important speeches of your life up to fate is like asking for something to go wrong.
- Thanking every single person in the room including the catering staff, cleaning staff, photographers, and the dude who the wedding venue was named after. Too much thanking makes everyone get bored.
- Embarrassing your wife. The groom’s speech is not the right place to pull out slightly-embarrassing bride stories. Leave the punch line to the best man.
- Not displaying emotion. It’s a known fact that most men find it difficult to express their feelings and emotions. No matter what reason you give, there is no denying that the trait exists. If you are one of these men, then for 8 minutes of your life push aside the block on emotions and express your feelings for the love of your life. Say how much you love her; don’t be afraid.
- Complimenting too much about the best man instead of the bride. Yes, some groom’s have a tendency to do this. No, you should definitely not be one of them. We know you love your best man, but today’s not bromance its romance that’s important. Your wife deserves her fair share of meaningful compliments.
- Mumbling, speaking quietly, staring at the floor while speaking, and anything else that may hamper the volume of your speech. You’ve just gotten married to the love of your life – everyone should hear you loud and clear.
No matter what, at the end of the day it is still your wedding day; one of the most special and memorable days of your life. Remember, everyone’s willing you to do well. Enjoy it.