The groom has to do a lot more than just show up and get married!
Most couples treat wedding planning as a joint venture, and you may be involved in many aspects of the preparations. However, there are a number of traditional groom duties which are your responsibility alone.
1. Chose Your Outfit
It’s conventional for a groom to wear a morning suit for the wedding. You can read more on our groom’s outfit page. But whatever you choose, discuss it with your fiancee first.
This is particularly important for any areas where you are introducing colour, such as your tie. Your fiancee may want to make sure it fits with the overall colour scheme of the wedding.
Also it’s common (but not compulsory) for all the men in the bridal party to wear the same outfit, so your choice will probably affect the best man, ushers, father of the bride and father of the groom.
2. Choose The Best Man and Ushers
Your best man is your choice alone. Don’t be bullied by your fiancee! This is one of the most important groom duties.
Try to choose someone who knows you well and has the right qualities of reliability and responsibility. There are more details here: choosing your best man.
Also the wedding ushers are traditionally “the groom’s ushers”, and you get to choose them too. In reality, however, this has become more of a joint choice between the couple.
There may be particular men on your fiancee’s side who she wants you to include (if the bride has a brother, for example) so you’ll need to bear this in mind.
3. Write a Speech
Don’t leave it to the last minute! Along with the father of the bride and the best man, yours is one of the three wedding speeches which tradition requires.
The groom’s speech is probably the easiest of the three – you’re speaking on behalf of yourself and your wife and basically expressing your happiness. Unlike the best man, there’s no pressure to make anyone laugh (although it doesn’t hurt to try!)
4. Plan the Honeymoon
One of the best-known groom duties is honeymoon planning. Your bride will quite rightly expect some input into the decision-making process, but even so, you should shoulder the responsibility of making the bookings and all the arrangements. Most brides do more than their fair share in organising the wedding itself, and this is an area you can help ease the burden on her.
5. Buy the Wedding Rings
The groom is supposed to buy his wife’s wedding ring. There is no convention on who buys the groom’s wedding ring, because groom’s wedding rings are a relatively recent phenomenon (in the UK at least).
Most couples these days buy two rings and split the cost. Even if you are buying the rings, you should let your wife choose hers. She’s going to have to wear it for the rest of her life, so it’s worth it to be on the safe side.
Check out the wedding rings page for tips.
6. Buy Gifts
It’s common for the groom to buy a gift for the best man, so this duty falls to you. Some grooms also buy a gift for the bride to open on the morning of the wedding. If you do this, be careful in buying any kind of jewelry as your fiancee probably will have chosen the accessories she will wear on the day well in advance.
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Besides the traditional groom duties, there are also a number of aspects of planning the wedding which most grooms take on voluntarily, including sorting out the wedding transport and making arrangements for the drinks to be served at the reception. But if you cover the half dozen points above, you can’t go far wrong.